Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Almost a Year Later

I haven't blogged in 11 months. What is different from 334 days ago? Well, I am down over 50lbs total, but have stalled. I need to get remotivated and get moving.
We are still labeled as "infertile". 4 inseminations, 1 surgery, numerous tests, blood work, and now a new issue has cropped up. We just can't seem to win. Maybe someone or something is throwing these roadblocks up for a reason. Maybe we'd be really bad parents and this is God's way of keeping us from messing a child up. Who knows. I do know that we are at the end of our rope, barely hanging on on a daily basis. I just want our normal life back. We had a glimpse of it when I was recovering from surgery. Funny, I don't know what normal is anymore? How do I adjust to the realization that I may never be a parent....that no one will ever call me mom..... that bill won't have the chance to have a Daddy's girl or be a Scout Leader. We are at a very bad place in life right now, lets hope we can find some semblance of normal and come out of this on the other side together.

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