Feels So Nice

I met my first weight lose goal and excedded it by 2! 33 lbs gone and hope to never see them again, unless it is baby weight. My clothes fit better and I feel better--more energy. Now, if we could only get pregnant, life would be sweet.

I went to the hospital for bloodwork yesterday and it really hit me when I looked at the paper and it said INFERTILITY TEST as the reason for the work. YIKES! I'm so scared I will never be able to have a baby. I want it so bad. We would be such good parents and I don't know if I can live if I can't have a child.

Well, the upbeat post went south quickly.....that's the way my life is these days. Moods governed by what my temperature is in the morning. It sucks. But back to feeling "thinner"........ I lifted 3 10lb bags of potatoes the last time I was at the grocery store, that is a lot of weight. Not that I am happy where I am, but it has to have done some good.

Why do some people think their needs are my important than mine? Why can't that person take a step back and realize situations aren't always what they seem? Why am I not allowed to stand up for myself and do what I want to do without being made to feel guilty for it? I am at a point in my life where I have to make selfish decisions if I want to enjoy the rest of my life. I've got to put me first, but how do I make the needy person in my life see this without coming off as a bitch? I don't know. If I knew the answer my life would be so much easier.