Thursday, May 31, 2007
Through His Eyes
Last night while doing a late-night diaper change on Nolan, I stopped to talk to him because he was staring directly at me. In his eyes I saw my reflection. What an amazing and terrifying moment. Will I measure up to the mom these babies deserve? Am I doing my best to make them happy? Healthy? I just stared into his eyes, looking at myself for a long time. It was a special moment to share with my son.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Hi, Is This Reagan/Nolan's Mom?
Twice this week we received phone calls and that is how they started? Hi, is this Reagan's Mom? Hi, is this Nolan's Mom? YES!!! It felt so good to answer that way.
I also took an on-line survey and I got to check the box that said we had children living in the house. For years that question has caused me pain, but not anymore!
I also took an on-line survey and I got to check the box that said we had children living in the house. For years that question has caused me pain, but not anymore!
Friday, May 25, 2007
1st Outing
Today we had our first family outing. Daddy has been wanting to get to Great Lakes Brewing Company to get some special beer that is in limited release, so we went there for lunch and then we walked through the West Side Market.
Mommy and Daddy ate lunch while babies slept and then babies ate before going over to the market. You both slept through the whole market trip. So many people stop to admire you guys and ask questions. The question asked most often"Are they identical?" Nope.
It was a very successful trip, hopefully you guys will continue to enjoy going places and get used to being out in public. Mommy and Daddy were so proud of you!
Mommy is getting less and less emotional every day. Those pregancy hormones were something else!!! No fun to just start crying for no reason. One look at your bright eyes and it made Mommy feel 100% better though.
Mommy and Daddy ate lunch while babies slept and then babies ate before going over to the market. You both slept through the whole market trip. So many people stop to admire you guys and ask questions. The question asked most often"Are they identical?" Nope.
It was a very successful trip, hopefully you guys will continue to enjoy going places and get used to being out in public. Mommy and Daddy were so proud of you!
Mommy is getting less and less emotional every day. Those pregancy hormones were something else!!! No fun to just start crying for no reason. One look at your bright eyes and it made Mommy feel 100% better though.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
2 weeks old!
Daddy went to work today, and Grammy will be over soon, so for now it is just us. You are both in your chairs snoozing away (something you didn't do so well at last night!).
Nolan, you sit like a little old man in your chair, legs spread wide open, relaxed to the max.
Reagan, you sleep all curled up, legs pulled up, hands up at your face. I bet that is the way you were inside me.
You are 2 weeks old today and I can see such a difference in you already. You are growing so fast.
Pretty soon we will venture out for something other than a doctors appointment, maybe lunch or dinner this weekend, Mommy would like to get out of the house (and show you off!)
Nolan, you sit like a little old man in your chair, legs spread wide open, relaxed to the max.
Reagan, you sleep all curled up, legs pulled up, hands up at your face. I bet that is the way you were inside me.
You are 2 weeks old today and I can see such a difference in you already. You are growing so fast.
Pretty soon we will venture out for something other than a doctors appointment, maybe lunch or dinner this weekend, Mommy would like to get out of the house (and show you off!)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Nolan's Cord
Tuesday, May 22nd
Nolan's cord fell off this afternoon. It made Mommy cry. It was the last physical connection to when he was in the womb.
Nolan is just such a sweet boy. He has the brightest eyes and they sparkle like diamonds. My heart just melts when he looks up at me. His cheeks are getting so full; he looks like a chipmunk. He is a wiggly boy, always moving and shaking when he is awake, but sleeps pretty soundly.
Reagan is a very mild mannered little one. Her cry breaks my heart because it is so sad. She is quiet and doesn't move around much, just like she did in the womb. I'd have to lie down and specifically feel for her or I'd never know she was in there.
I just can't say it enough..... we are so lucky! Three years of heartache and that was wiped out on May 10, 2007!
Nolan's cord fell off this afternoon. It made Mommy cry. It was the last physical connection to when he was in the womb.
Nolan is just such a sweet boy. He has the brightest eyes and they sparkle like diamonds. My heart just melts when he looks up at me. His cheeks are getting so full; he looks like a chipmunk. He is a wiggly boy, always moving and shaking when he is awake, but sleeps pretty soundly.
Reagan is a very mild mannered little one. Her cry breaks my heart because it is so sad. She is quiet and doesn't move around much, just like she did in the womb. I'd have to lie down and specifically feel for her or I'd never know she was in there.
I just can't say it enough..... we are so lucky! Three years of heartache and that was wiped out on May 10, 2007!
Weight Check
May 21
The babies ventured out for the second time to get weighed in at the doctor. They are both eating very well and their weigh-ins showed it.
Reagan tipped the scales at 5lbs 10ozs and Nolan at 6lbs 7ozs. Back to birth weight and beyond. They both have some constipation issues, but we are working on getting that straightened out.
They have had a couple of good night, a couple not so good, but they are mainly excellent babies. I'm still in awe of them and just love to cuddle them. I know they will be growing so fast and will get to a point where they won't want to be cuddled. Until then....... Mommy will be doing lots of lovin'.
The babies ventured out for the second time to get weighed in at the doctor. They are both eating very well and their weigh-ins showed it.
Reagan tipped the scales at 5lbs 10ozs and Nolan at 6lbs 7ozs. Back to birth weight and beyond. They both have some constipation issues, but we are working on getting that straightened out.
They have had a couple of good night, a couple not so good, but they are mainly excellent babies. I'm still in awe of them and just love to cuddle them. I know they will be growing so fast and will get to a point where they won't want to be cuddled. Until then....... Mommy will be doing lots of lovin'.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
1 Week Old
Your one week birthday was a very emotional day for Mommy, but then again with all these hormones, what day isn't emotional. I can't believe a week has gone by; a blur of diapers and bottles. You are both so precious and we are getting to know your personalities. Reagan, you are a little more calm than your brother. You don't fuss during diaper changes and rarely cry real hard, but when you do it is so sad and it breaks my heart. You are still such a little peanut. At your doctor appointment when you were 5 days old you weighed 5lbs 3ozs. Nolan is a little more high strung, he lets us know what he wants as soon as he wants it. He is a bit more alert and fusses when it comes time to diaper changes. At the doctor appointment, Nolan weighed 5 lbs 10ozs. At 1pm I took you guys and we sat in the rocking chair and I held you and kissed you and at 1:05p and 1:06p I wished you each a Happy One Week Birthday!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Reagan & Nolan's Birth Story May 10, 2007
Thursday May 10, 2007
10:30am
We got to the hospital and had to do all sorts of paperwork and the babies heartbeats were hooked up and monitored. It was neat to watch their rates for almost 2 hours. They got the IV in and started fluids for me. I asked to be catheterized after the spinal (they wanted to do it before) and they agreed. However, I am latex sensitive so they had to “cobble” a cath together for me (this is an important detail for later.)
I walked down to the OR just after 12:30pm; I was very nervous and excited. Bill stayed in the room and they gave him a lunch and some juice and told him to wait to get dressed so he wouldn’t get overheated since the gown was kind of rubber like. He wisely put on the booties and mask just to be ready.
I got to the OR and got up on the table. The room was packed; each baby had a team of a doctor and nurses as well as some medical students and a neonatologist. My doctor and one of the other docs in the practice talked to me the whole time. Dr. Slotta went to school with Bill’s cousin, Jimmy. Small world and the conversation kept me entertained while they worked on getting the spinal going. It took a while and the anesthesiologist was just getting ready to switch to a bigger needle when he was able to get the smaller one in. It did not hurt as much as I thought, just like little bee stings. I had to put my legs up on the table and they immediately started to tingle and I felt the sensation traveling up my legs and torso. I also started to feel a little sick so he gave me some anti nausea medication in my IV and the oxygen mask instead of the nose tubes. He did the check to make sure I was numb and then he asked that someone go get Bill. It was almost 1pm. I kept asking for Bill because they had started the surgery. Finally he got there. He said the nurse ran in the room and told him to hurry since the surgery had started, so he dressed as he ran down the hall. Not sure why they waited so long to get him.
At 1:05pm, Dr. Zart said “It’s A Girl!” “Hello Baby Reagan!” I was so relieved and happy and she started crying right away. Another huge relief, but I was still holding my breath to hear another cry. I kept asking Bill if he could see her and if she had hair, they said she had a little hair. A minute later, Dr. Zart said “I see a head, oh I see feet, oh we have a swimmer!” “It’s a Boy, Hello Baby Nolan!” Another cry and another wave of relief for me.
The crying in stereo was loud and was the sweetest sound I ever heard. Bill was told he could go over and take a look at the babies so he took some pictures and brought them back to me. It was all happening so fast. Next time Bill came back he had Reagan in his arms. After I was all put back together they gave me both babies and wheeled us back to the room where we started in for assessments and recovery. It was very chaotic as my BP had dropped very low and they were started to get worried about me, all I was worried about were the babies. They put one baby on my chest to warm up both of us since I was shivering so badly.
The babies both had low sugar so they were given a bottle right away and had to have their sugar tested every 3 hours and then fed. Their sugars came up after about 12 hours. They ate voraciously.
Once I was stable the neonatologist came to my bed to tell me her assessment of the kids. She ordered an ultrasound for a dimple on Reagan’s back. This really scared me because I asked what it could possibly be and she mentioned spina bifida. Nolan had two things she was concerned about, a brachial cleft cyst, on the side of his neck, which will be removed when he is 6 months old, and his forehead suture (plate) looked fused and they wanted to ultrasound and x-ray that. Nothing like worrying a new mom right off the bat! We have to watch that his forehead fills out or we will have to investigate further.
We moved over to our regular room and Daddy changed the first diaper. The look on his face was priceless, he was trying to comfort Reagan but you could see he wanted to gag. He did such a good job though.
The rest of the day was a blur; I tried to get each of them on the breast. Nolan tried, but Reagan’s mouth is so incredibly small that she had a really tough time. They each did suck a little and just getting to look at them up close was amazing. Over the next several days in the hospital it became frustrating for all of us and the babies enjoy their bottles, so that among lots of other factors lead me to the decision to not breastfeed. It was very hard and very upsetting for me, but in the end it is what is best for all of us. I just have to let the guilt go and remind myself that I am doing what is best for my situation. I remind myself of that daily when I get down about it.
At 2am they decided my cobbled together catheter was not working so they had to pull it and insert another. That really sucked, but within 30 minutes I had doubled what I had put out all day.
On Friday, they got me out of bed and that was the worst pain I have ever experienced. Not the incision so much, but the right side. They said it was from my doctor cranking down too much on the retractors during surgery. OUCH! The first two times I stood up I literally saw stars and instant tears. By Saturday I was able to shower and felt better, but the side pain still persists a week later if I overdue it.
On Sunday the babies came to the room about 6:45am and they had a Mother’s Day card waiting for me in the drawer of their bassinets. Daddy got to the hospital around 7am with bagels (I had enough of the hospital food) and a Mother’s Day gift from the babies. They got me emerald (their birthstone) earrings and Bill made me a t-shirt with iron on transfer that says “Mommy of Twins (Two Against One). It was a very special morning for us. Three years of trying and waiting and finally we had our rewards, and I couldn’t have written the story better myself. I got to bring home my babies on Mother’s Day.
They each had to pass a one hour car seat challenge test because of their small size and after that we started the discharge process. Being wheeled down the hall with one baby on my lap and Bill carrying the other car seat was overwhelming. They were all ours, our two babies to love to teach.
May 17, 2007: It all happened so fast and a week is gone already. I’m just trying to soak in every minute of them. I know I have a lifetime of moments, but these are so precious.
My first thoughts of the babies…. Reagan has the smallest face and petite nose and mouth that I have ever seen.
Nolan is perfect too and I thought he looked like Bill, but upon further inspection he looks like Mommy and Reagan looks like Daddy.
10:30am
We got to the hospital and had to do all sorts of paperwork and the babies heartbeats were hooked up and monitored. It was neat to watch their rates for almost 2 hours. They got the IV in and started fluids for me. I asked to be catheterized after the spinal (they wanted to do it before) and they agreed. However, I am latex sensitive so they had to “cobble” a cath together for me (this is an important detail for later.)
I walked down to the OR just after 12:30pm; I was very nervous and excited. Bill stayed in the room and they gave him a lunch and some juice and told him to wait to get dressed so he wouldn’t get overheated since the gown was kind of rubber like. He wisely put on the booties and mask just to be ready.
I got to the OR and got up on the table. The room was packed; each baby had a team of a doctor and nurses as well as some medical students and a neonatologist. My doctor and one of the other docs in the practice talked to me the whole time. Dr. Slotta went to school with Bill’s cousin, Jimmy. Small world and the conversation kept me entertained while they worked on getting the spinal going. It took a while and the anesthesiologist was just getting ready to switch to a bigger needle when he was able to get the smaller one in. It did not hurt as much as I thought, just like little bee stings. I had to put my legs up on the table and they immediately started to tingle and I felt the sensation traveling up my legs and torso. I also started to feel a little sick so he gave me some anti nausea medication in my IV and the oxygen mask instead of the nose tubes. He did the check to make sure I was numb and then he asked that someone go get Bill. It was almost 1pm. I kept asking for Bill because they had started the surgery. Finally he got there. He said the nurse ran in the room and told him to hurry since the surgery had started, so he dressed as he ran down the hall. Not sure why they waited so long to get him.
At 1:05pm, Dr. Zart said “It’s A Girl!” “Hello Baby Reagan!” I was so relieved and happy and she started crying right away. Another huge relief, but I was still holding my breath to hear another cry. I kept asking Bill if he could see her and if she had hair, they said she had a little hair. A minute later, Dr. Zart said “I see a head, oh I see feet, oh we have a swimmer!” “It’s a Boy, Hello Baby Nolan!” Another cry and another wave of relief for me.
The crying in stereo was loud and was the sweetest sound I ever heard. Bill was told he could go over and take a look at the babies so he took some pictures and brought them back to me. It was all happening so fast. Next time Bill came back he had Reagan in his arms. After I was all put back together they gave me both babies and wheeled us back to the room where we started in for assessments and recovery. It was very chaotic as my BP had dropped very low and they were started to get worried about me, all I was worried about were the babies. They put one baby on my chest to warm up both of us since I was shivering so badly.
The babies both had low sugar so they were given a bottle right away and had to have their sugar tested every 3 hours and then fed. Their sugars came up after about 12 hours. They ate voraciously.
Once I was stable the neonatologist came to my bed to tell me her assessment of the kids. She ordered an ultrasound for a dimple on Reagan’s back. This really scared me because I asked what it could possibly be and she mentioned spina bifida. Nolan had two things she was concerned about, a brachial cleft cyst, on the side of his neck, which will be removed when he is 6 months old, and his forehead suture (plate) looked fused and they wanted to ultrasound and x-ray that. Nothing like worrying a new mom right off the bat! We have to watch that his forehead fills out or we will have to investigate further.
We moved over to our regular room and Daddy changed the first diaper. The look on his face was priceless, he was trying to comfort Reagan but you could see he wanted to gag. He did such a good job though.
The rest of the day was a blur; I tried to get each of them on the breast. Nolan tried, but Reagan’s mouth is so incredibly small that she had a really tough time. They each did suck a little and just getting to look at them up close was amazing. Over the next several days in the hospital it became frustrating for all of us and the babies enjoy their bottles, so that among lots of other factors lead me to the decision to not breastfeed. It was very hard and very upsetting for me, but in the end it is what is best for all of us. I just have to let the guilt go and remind myself that I am doing what is best for my situation. I remind myself of that daily when I get down about it.
At 2am they decided my cobbled together catheter was not working so they had to pull it and insert another. That really sucked, but within 30 minutes I had doubled what I had put out all day.
On Friday, they got me out of bed and that was the worst pain I have ever experienced. Not the incision so much, but the right side. They said it was from my doctor cranking down too much on the retractors during surgery. OUCH! The first two times I stood up I literally saw stars and instant tears. By Saturday I was able to shower and felt better, but the side pain still persists a week later if I overdue it.
On Sunday the babies came to the room about 6:45am and they had a Mother’s Day card waiting for me in the drawer of their bassinets. Daddy got to the hospital around 7am with bagels (I had enough of the hospital food) and a Mother’s Day gift from the babies. They got me emerald (their birthstone) earrings and Bill made me a t-shirt with iron on transfer that says “Mommy of Twins (Two Against One). It was a very special morning for us. Three years of trying and waiting and finally we had our rewards, and I couldn’t have written the story better myself. I got to bring home my babies on Mother’s Day.
They each had to pass a one hour car seat challenge test because of their small size and after that we started the discharge process. Being wheeled down the hall with one baby on my lap and Bill carrying the other car seat was overwhelming. They were all ours, our two babies to love to teach.
May 17, 2007: It all happened so fast and a week is gone already. I’m just trying to soak in every minute of them. I know I have a lifetime of moments, but these are so precious.
My first thoughts of the babies…. Reagan has the smallest face and petite nose and mouth that I have ever seen.
Nolan is perfect too and I thought he looked like Bill, but upon further inspection he looks like Mommy and Reagan looks like Daddy.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
FOUR HOURS
Babies,
In four hours you will be here, most likely being held by your Daddy!!!! Three years of waiting and it is finally here. I just can't explain how I feel. I keep crying, but they are tears of all sorts, happy, sad, excited, nervous.... you name it!
I can't wait to kiss your little cheeks for the first time.
Thank you for being good babies while you lived inside me. I'll never forget it and am so grateful that I got to experience a twin pregnancy. Just makes everything doubly special.
You can't imagine how loved and wanted you are!!!!
Love,
Your Mommy
In four hours you will be here, most likely being held by your Daddy!!!! Three years of waiting and it is finally here. I just can't explain how I feel. I keep crying, but they are tears of all sorts, happy, sad, excited, nervous.... you name it!
I can't wait to kiss your little cheeks for the first time.
Thank you for being good babies while you lived inside me. I'll never forget it and am so grateful that I got to experience a twin pregnancy. Just makes everything doubly special.
You can't imagine how loved and wanted you are!!!!
Love,
Your Mommy
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
20 Hours and Counting
Babies!!!!!! In less than a day you will be here. WOW, WOW, WOW!!!! It just doesn't seem real.
I've cried a lot in the past week because I'm sad that this part of our story is coming to an end. I really enjoy feeling you inside me and I'm not ready to share you, but I don't have a choice. I'm nervous about having surgery, but I know you are going to be A-OK and it is what is best for us. I just can't wait to hear your first cry and know that you took your first breath without me.
I can't wait to count your fingers and toes....... kiss the tops of your heads....... tickle you...... hug you. You are miracles.
Tomorrow I add a new thing to my resume of life: Mommy.
I've cried a lot in the past week because I'm sad that this part of our story is coming to an end. I really enjoy feeling you inside me and I'm not ready to share you, but I don't have a choice. I'm nervous about having surgery, but I know you are going to be A-OK and it is what is best for us. I just can't wait to hear your first cry and know that you took your first breath without me.
I can't wait to count your fingers and toes....... kiss the tops of your heads....... tickle you...... hug you. You are miracles.
Tomorrow I add a new thing to my resume of life: Mommy.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Week 36-- We Made It!
Well babies, when I had our first appointment with Dr. Z I decided my personal goal was for us to make it to 36 weeks. I can't believe we are here! I was so worried that you guys would come early and have to be in the hospital, but you have done so good and are growing so well. I couldn't have wished for a better pregnancy. Sure, I was sick in the beginning and I'm exhausted now, but really for the REALLY serious stuff, we've done an excellent job. I am very proud of myself, I never thought I'd still be up and around at this point.
Now we begin the last week of you being in my tummy. I'm sad because I love your kicks and hiccups and will probably never feel these things again, but I am SO excited to hold you and just stare at the wonders you are. You've changed my life already. You are going to make one of my biggest dreams come true, I get to be called Mommy!!!!
Let's enjoy our last week of our special bond before I have to share you with Daddy, Grammy, and the world.
Now we begin the last week of you being in my tummy. I'm sad because I love your kicks and hiccups and will probably never feel these things again, but I am SO excited to hold you and just stare at the wonders you are. You've changed my life already. You are going to make one of my biggest dreams come true, I get to be called Mommy!!!!
Let's enjoy our last week of our special bond before I have to share you with Daddy, Grammy, and the world.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Nursery
The cribs came on Saturday and the room is finally complete!!!!
I really like it and I hope the babies are happy in it. I would have loved a reading/window seat like they have when I was a kid. It is so warm and inviting. I'm not sure they will really appreciate it if we move before they are old enough to remember.
Tomorrow is our final doctors appointment. SO hard to believe. I think back to our first appointment when she gave us the tentative due date of May 17 and said if we made it to 36 weeks the babies would be good, and that is only 2 days away. At that time it seemed that it would take forever to get here and it is now upon us. I'm going to miss the babies kicking me and the hiccups and I take time everyday to soak it in since this will probably be the only time I'll ever have these feelings. It is so amazing when you really stop and think about it. I think I've done my best to make the babies healthy and strong and I'll try my best to continue to do so.
I really like it and I hope the babies are happy in it. I would have loved a reading/window seat like they have when I was a kid. It is so warm and inviting. I'm not sure they will really appreciate it if we move before they are old enough to remember.
Tomorrow is our final doctors appointment. SO hard to believe. I think back to our first appointment when she gave us the tentative due date of May 17 and said if we made it to 36 weeks the babies would be good, and that is only 2 days away. At that time it seemed that it would take forever to get here and it is now upon us. I'm going to miss the babies kicking me and the hiccups and I take time everyday to soak it in since this will probably be the only time I'll ever have these feelings. It is so amazing when you really stop and think about it. I think I've done my best to make the babies healthy and strong and I'll try my best to continue to do so.
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